Never use a cruelty when a joke will do in its place

I'm watching the news from Cedar Rapids online. They're getting shat upon by the weather right now - tornadoes, flash floods, the works. Where are the locusts?

My former employer's call center and warehouse is in Cedar Rapids, and I know several of the people who work there, and it is a little distressing. They're having to deal with curfews and mandatory evacuations there. Had I decided to keep my job and relocate there, I'd be getting to deal with this too. (There was a snowball's chance of me ever moving to Iowa, but still.)