Never use a cruelty when a joke will do in its place

Wednesday night, I discovered the hard way that regular Alka-Seltzer, unlike it's cold medicine formula bretheren, contains aspirin and not acetomenophen. I am allergic to aspirin. And just like the warnings on the box (ya know, the ones that neither Cait nor I read) stated, I started wheezing, my face puffed up, and I found myself covered in hives. By Thursday afternoon the hives had largely disappeared but decided to return today. My allergen load is maxed out. I itch like a motherfather.